I have always disliked my body. I’ve struggled with the same 6 pounds that seemed impossible to lose from when I was 15 to 27.
Whenever I gained one pound or two, I’d starve myself for 2 days that’d be that. I’d be back to normal again, and still wishing I could drop 6 more pounds. Which I absolutely never did… never in almost 15 years.
So, one day I got a job that demanded me to stay in front of a computer, under pressure for 12 hours a day. I stopped weighting myself every day to control those 2 extra pounds that’d appear in my life from time to time, but I felt pretty much the same.
Six months later I had gained 20 pounds.
I don’t know how that happened. Ok, I do know. I ate every time I felt hungry, which was something I had never ever done before in my entire life. I had been hungry for the past 15 years and suddenly, I there was never a moment of the day when I was crazy hungry. I was “full” all the time.
So, I got pregnant.
Unlike most people, I gained zero weight during pregnancy. I was eating healthy and I think pregnancy itself is pretty consuming for your body… so, if you eat alright you don’t really gain any weight. I left the hospital 5 pounds away from my goal… and that seemed great.
Except it happened again.
After maternity leave, I went back to work and BAM… I gained 20 pounds!
JESUS CHRIST it’s so annoying!
But the thing is, losing weight after pregnancy is a completely different thing then it was before. Not eating doesn’t equal losing weight! It seriously doesn’t! I’ve starved myself for a month and still didn’t drop a pound!
My doctor explained to me that stuff like waking up in the middle of the night all the time and being under stress would keep me fat, even if I didn’t eat much. I am seriously annoyed.
My birthday was in May, and that’s when I started taking ballet again. I was super excited and I was doing it every day… well, ever since I started my ballet classes again, I gained 10 pounds.
So, I’m starting one of those crazy 14 day diets. I figured that if I dropped some weight, any weight, I’d feel encouraged to start eating right after those 14 days and convinced that it is in fact food that’s keeping me fat. For now, I think it’s black magic or something equally as evil.
-I do plan on the 21 days one, girls! I just need to do this first ’cause I’m seriously inpatient right now –
Damn it, I promised myself I’d keep this introduction short. I’m terrible at keeping things short…
Let’s go straight to my first day menu, shall we?
So, this was lunch: (there’s no breakfast on the first day)
Lunch on the first day consists on 2 boiled eggs.
And then you spend the whole day trying not to think about food…
I did, however, have a diet coke. Oh yeah, I must have screwed up the diet and gained at least 5 pounds right there ’cause that’s the way my body works.
So I dyed my hair and played with my girls. There’s actually a picture where we can all see how my forehead is still a bit orange and my eyebrows don’t match my hair but my baby loves me anyway:
See? That’s me. Not thinking about food.
Finally, it was time for dinner and I was happy to feast myself with this oh-so-nutritive portion of …
Lettuce and cucumber!
I bet you’re all hungry from seeing these delicious plates, right?
Good news is I’m done with day 1. And day 1 is the meanest of all days! Tomorrow there’s Stake and fruit and ham…
If I actually manage to go through these 14 days, I actually hope, in my heart that I will drop a few pounds… otherwise I’m gonna have to dig deeper into this thing ’cause it’s just NOT normal and I do not need to find out about any hormonal disfunction at this point!
Damn, I’m hungry.
– And also terribly sorry about all the cursing. I’m way too hungry to measure my words.-
Night, fellows! There’s a cracker waiting for me in the morning! God, I can’t wait!
SO-EXCITED about that cracker!
Ok, I’m going, bye!