When I was 20, I pictured the 40 year old me. The ” life” ? Well, that’d be all figured out.
The mystery of “who is the person I’ll marry and how many kids we’ll have” ? Also solved.
And I’d just sit back on my fluffy couch and stare at my accomplishments. Life would be good!
By the time I hit 34, I had my routine. I was so lucky to have my girls, to have moved to Canada, to have found a good job.
Lucky, lucky, lucky.
But, even though luck was a great thing, it’s not enough if you don’t really live it. I started to feel like every day without laughter was a waste of life.
A psychologist once told me that I had an urge to live. Could be. I DO get bored quite easily and the responsibilities of adult life had taken me to a place where I couldn’t remember how to enjoy things anymore.
I’ve mentioned this here before. Everything was at it’s place, yet, something was missing.
And then, the other day, I met a kid.
The kid had this thing inside him, an attitude towards people, that no matter how exhaustive the training we were participating on was, he’d always find an excuse to laugh. Make a joke. As if he was not standing on that same office I was, which was filled with computers, and learning about programs most people wouldn’t want to get involved with. While all of us, old people, could barely find the strength to smile at his jokes.
He made me wonder when exactly do we lose that enthusiasm? When do things stop being funny? Or was I the only one losing it at all?
Even though I was the luckiest person on the planet, I still couldn’t laugh. And I missed it so much. I’ve never missed being 20 ’cause I believe right-now is the best part of my life. This is not what this is about. But I realized missed having friends. The friends that would fill out the time while I stared at my accomplishments with their silly text messages and youtube videos. It didn’t sound like much… but I still couldn’t have it.
The cliche was right. It IS in fact all about the people around you rather than the things you have or the place you are (even though, the concept of ” PLACE” is important for me).
So, yeah, that kid’s changed me. For once, he made me realize that even the longest meetings may have funny moments if I change the way I look at things. Just as in life.
The other change was that he made me believe there’s a chance I’ll have a new gang here one day. Because I might still have the ability to make friends. Not everyone in this country is necessarily so different from me that we can’t relate, like I thought. I am guessing there are probably 5 bearable people around here somewhere… And there’s a chance we’ll bump into one another other one day and end up playing video games together (as if I could actually play videogames).
The kid got the puzzle together for me. Showed me what I was missing – and it was not setraline pills.
As it turns out, the mysteries of my life are not yet solved. I was wrong. I’ve still got plenty to find out.
Thanks, kid. Really, thank you.
For making me realize those things and for making me laugh again. I absolutely missed that. I absolutely missed being me.
Please note that I do not indent to sound like a creepy old lady. I just realized we can learn and recapture important lessons from the youngsters too. Unlike that popular belief that says that only our gamma’s know it all!
You can have your mom call me at anytime!