Goodbye from beyond

I could try to begin to explain what Stella was like, but that’s just too hard. The creature (and I say that with love) came straight out of a comedy movie into real life.

She didn’t study much, she never left the city, she could barely understand how her cel phone worked but she always made us laugh.

She’d tell my mom stuff like “I’ve done the dishes and it took me forever you BETTER NOT leave any dirty dishes for me to wash tomorrow morning!”

Oh, and technically… she was our made.

Technically.

She’s been with the family (back and forth) for 40 years. And she’s the reason I started taking showers longer than 2 minutes after a while (like, when the girls were around 10 months old).

She played with them and taught them how to samba while watching the movie ‘Rio’ every single day.

I’ll always remember our last day in Brazil when she held their 2 bottles in her hands, close to her chest and said with all the feelings in the world mixed together “These are the very last bottles I’ll ever make for them”.

She stared at the bottles for a second and handed them to me.

I chocked.

I wanted to hug her, I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t true… but it was. We both knew it was.

So, she took her things and never said goodbye properly. She was trying so hard not to cry -much- in front of me and the girls.

I was trying not to cry too.

The stupid decisions I make in life. Not to make a scene, instead of holding the ones I love for the last time.

Last week my mom called me and said that Stella had a terrible cold, but she wouldn’t stay home. – She was being stubborn , like always.

Until the day she did stay home and they had to run with her to the hospital because she couldn’t breathe.

Just like that.

She had a cold, she couldn’t breathe. I knew she was in the hospital on Saturday… and on mother’s day she was gone.

I was alone with the girls. My mom was on Skype with me all day. It was a sucky day. I couldn’t understand it or believe it and I kept thinking about how she was so excited about visiting the girls she missed so much here in Canada.

So many things were just not going to happen. Did I say goodbye? Did she know we loved her?

So, I went to bed and everything changed.

She came back and said goodbye.

She said that she was dead and that she had to go, but she wanted us to know that she loved us very much and blew us all a kiss as she waved goodbye and left to the other world.

When I called my mom this morning… I found out she had stopped to say goodbye to her too.

I really wanna believe it was her… she was smiling and she had the same big heart as always.

And today, at work, the office smelled like her food for a bit.

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4 thoughts on “Goodbye from beyond

  1. I love, love, LOVE that she came from the beyond to visit you and give a proper goodbye. She loves you and the girls so. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you take comfort in the love you shared with her and knowing that she is still with you, watching from the beyond.

    Like

    1. Thank you, sweetie! It’s nice to share this with people who have faith and believe that it really was her. ‘Cause it felt like her… so, I guess you kinda restore my faith too. =)

      Liked by 1 person

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