I have always hated the girl from “Eat Pray Love” because I thought she was so ungrateful. She was a healthy well established woman who could just chose to not work for a year and go to the end of the world to find out what the hell it was that was missing in her life. She was doing all these amazing things but she still had the saddest narrative … like it was all so empty and pointless just because she didn’t have the right men next to her or whatever , while the rest of the women in the world, possibly with real problems, had no choice but to suck it up and get to work.
Yes, she made me angry back in the day. But I kinda get her now. A little bit.
Despite the drama and the fact that I still do think she’s ungrateful, I realized, as I come closer and close to turning 35 that I too had the luxury to make some important choices in my life.
I wanted to live in a city I absolutely loved, like I mentioned before and that was important to me. That was settled.
I also wanted to not wanna kill myself every Sunday night because the next morning I’d have to get up and go to work.
You’d think, though, that after 34 years of living inside my head I’d know myself enough to have a proper answer to the question ” what do you wanna do when you grow up” , correct?
Yeah, well, me too.
But it turns out I don’t.
If I were ever to pick the thing that I love the most and never-ever get tired of doing, the answer would be “decorating”. It’s fun, colorful, dynamic, there’s always something different… In fact, it was such a great concept that I absolutely bought it. I picked it. I became an architect.
And then reality came.
It turns out I liked decorating for ME and doing things I thought were pretty. Decorating for other people kinda sucked. I can’t handle people.
Ok, let’s put a big “NO-NO” in every existing job involving clients so I can go on finding out what I wanna be.
I figured I could engage on teaching. So, I tried it.
A teacher is like an actor. I had to put on a show every time I was in front of the class to make sure I was being interesting enough that they would learn from me (and not fall asleep). I was totally fine with that part.
The problem with teaching is that some days I was tired. Sometimes I wanted to go to the bathroom, sometimes I was very hungry and sometimes I wanted to check my phone (’cause I’m a paranoid person with 2 kids)!
So, by the time I quit teaching, I knew wanted something that :
- Would allow me to take a 5 minute break whenever I needed one!
- Had no clients.
- Was more mechanical than creative (’cause I am not creative under pressure).
- Had flexible hours in case I slept in or the phone didn’t ring.
- That paid decently. Kinda.
So, I got my current job… which surprisingly checked all the requirements on my list and also allowed us to move from Ajax – a place I couldn’t see myself growing old in.
Isn’t life just great? Am I happy enough now, or am I the bitch from “eat, pray, love” ?
Yeah, I’ll be the bitch from the book.
I wanna add things to my list and I hope that’s not a crime. I mean, I hope that’s not me being ungrateful for the things I have.
By the time this project is done and I’m off job-hunting I’ll look for something exciting, life-changing, world-changing, I’ll design video-games and have time to paint!
Yeah, bad example. I still don’t know what my awesome job will be. But if I showed you that list above just 2 years ago when I was living in Brazil and added “live in a first world country” to it… you’d also say I’m a dreamer.
It turns out I don’t hate the ” eat pray love ” lady. It turns out I too am her. In my very own version… and I cannot wait to read my book!